I broke my fast today. Just a little. I didn’t even think about it in preparation, but we celebrated Communion today and…well…I ate the bread and drank the juice. Sure, small thing to you! But I can tell you this – that was the best bread I’ve had in a loooong time! I had a hard time keeping a straight face after that – which, when you think about it, is a good problem to have during Communion.
Someone asked after the service if my lack of tasty food and drink for the last 25 days made the bread and juice taste better. Absolutely. Was it a more spiritual experience? Not necessarily. In reflection, though, it does make me more aware that “those who hunger for righteousness” will be filled. And that those who have been forgiven much will love much.
You can’t really manufacture your emotions. Oh sure, you can get yourself ”jazzed up” before a big game. But you can’t really make yourself love God more. Ironically, it appears that the more you sin, the more you experience the love of God when it washes over you. It makes it more clear what Paul says in Romans 6: “Shall we go on sinning that grace may increase?”
It seems a shame, doesn’t it? Those who sin the least (or at least those who THINK they sin the least) will experience less of the grace of God. I guess that’s why we pray, “Open our eyes, Lord.” We need Him to help us to see. Thank God that He helps us to see our sin in all of it’s immensity. It teaches us to hunger and thirst for His grace. And when it comes? It’s like a tiny piece of bread after a fast or a tiny cup of juice after “just” water.
